Cat Vs. Also Cat

10Jan10

Dear Ms. Batling,

I have a most unique problem. I am quite possibly the world’s foremost mind in criminal matters, one might say a veritable source of untold good, but I am unable to put this woman out of my mind. She is everything I am not, spontaneous, rude, and living outside the law.

She is also unspeakably clever and has bested me on an occasion or two. This is no mean feat as my companion could tell you, but continues to vex me to this very day. Unless I am mired in my work, I find myself stagnant and thinking of any number of things under the sun, no small amount of which are this woman.

I have sworn to bring her to justice on numerous occasions, but I think my admiration for her might circumvent even my superior logic and ability.

Baker Street Bachelor

Dear BSB,

I understand opposites attract. There’s something about steps and things like that. Paula Abdul wrote it best. At first I didn’t think I could add anymore. I was wrong, so very wrong.

I’d like to pose this theory, what if you like her, maybe even love because you envy her?

What if you dear boy want to be bad? Perhaps.

Think about it and you’ll see I’m right. You’d love to be the one pulling off the meticulously planned crimes. I’d wager quite a few quid that you stay awake nights planning on the perfect crime spree. When you do manage sleep you dream of her. Of finally getting that kiss. That night of passion.

I’ve also deduced that you mostly likely could happily outrun the police indefinitely. After all you love and good challenge don’t you? You’re cocky and with very good reason. Unlike other men you are not merely boasting. No, you dear Bachelor are that good.

My best advice? For once follow your heart not your head. Go after your lady love, spend your time caressing her, not chasing her. You might find it quite enjoyable. Good luck, see you in the papers.



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