Not your typical Thai vacation.

12Dec09

After last week, dealing with Tiger Woods and his insanity (Mrs. Woods, if you need a shoulder to cry on…) I’m getting back to making fun of fictional people. This week’s letter comes from Vinyan

Dear Lola,
I’m writing because I’m in a bit of a jam.
My wife and I were recently visiting a foreign nation and we believe our son was possibly kidnapped and/or sold on the black market. My wife is maybe insane, she refuses to seek help. I’ve politely suggested it as much as possible.

What should we do?

Thank you,
Rufus

Dear Rufus,

Oh dear. Have you alerted the authorities yet? I’m not sure I’d be of much help on this. Do please first make sure your child is not waiting for you at home. Please if you are paying for your child’s return via guide, you specify it must be your child. Not just any anonymous child will do. Also, do try to keep track of your money, get receipts when ever possible and get ALL expenses up front.

This may seem like a lot of work, but you don’t want to get trapped in the middle of nowhere surrounded by spooky face-painted children who have eaten the rice from the bowl of insanity. I’ve seen it happen before and it is not a pretty sight.

A couple other things to keep in mind: people will probably throw rocks at you, or in a worst case scenario shoot at you. Hopefully, you’ll only have to deal with the rocks, and if you do, the best way to work around that is to seek cover, something heavy and durable, your unreliable traveling companions should also suffice.

Once you’ve made it back to civilization (if you’re that lucky) and you still haven’t managed to find your child, try giving Brangelina a call and see if they’ve adopted them by accident.



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