The Anti Blog – I Hate Facebook Apps


When the world ends in a gassy cloud of asteroids, volcanoes and John Cusack in 2012 I will have four last words for the world in our last and dying hours. “Facebook Apps Freaking Suck!” (This may end up being a very rough paraphrase, though I’m considering going with the more conforming “AAGGGHHHHHHH!” just in case I dont have time to prepare last words) In the last three or so years since Facebook added games, apps and such I may have spent more time on my fictitious personas than I’ve spent on YouTube. This irks me greatly, yet do I leave them? Why would I do that?

I’m a bit of a hyper focuser, and the obsessing about fictitious second, third and fortieth lives I lead online is a massive time killer. Instead of trying to explain the wasted time I’ve used creating these fictional peoples… let me just let them introduce themselves.

I’m Nigel Chase, from the app formerly known as Fight Club, as in discontinued. I still kinda resent the demise of the coolest app ever on Facebook. I was a daily fighter, loyal even on vacation (once paying $5 for airport internet and barely getting all my fights and training in) for over a year and a half and that diligence pushed me all the way to #2 in the world rankings at one point though I retired at #3 in the world. I still keep active in MG’s head trying to get him to make a movie with a character named after me titled “Antithesis Doom” he’s a lazy writer though.

I’m Don Pomegranate, from Mafia Wars, (yes the same one that bragged recently to the Internets chagrin that he’s cheated his way to the top with the Mafia Wars app, even going as far as bribing members into installing indestructible spy ware and mal ware) I’ve been on Mafia wars over a year and am to Level 286. Similarly to Nigel I’ve logged on from many random places to stay current with my game play, my favorite being my Grandparents dinosaur computer in Texas, I think it took me about 40 minutes to just get the days jobs done.

Hello I’m Chef MG, I’m kinda the new kid on the block… I dont have the accomplishments… yet. I joined Cafe World a couple days ago and I can’t stop… even woke up at 3am yesterday just to serve some desserts I’d prepared. Funny too I noticed a lot of the decorations in the game are cloned from Pet Society… oh gosh and thats a story none of us three want to talk about… good year wasted there too.

So thats my alternate identities? What are your Facebook App Characters?

Whats the craziest thing you’ve ever done to keep up with a fake lifestyle alongside a real one

2 Responses to “The Anti Blog – I Hate Facebook Apps”

  1. 1 Jessiflaa

    Haha dude! this was awesome. proper had me loling 🙂
    sorry only just got around to reading it! but ill be a better friend in the future 😀 ❤

  2. 2 shewbacca

    Facebook is all kinds of ridiculous – the apps just continue to make a bad thing worse, as if that’s even possible…

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