Loving The Dead (Technically…) Pt Two


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Now if you’re still with me, you’ve made the choice to date a vampire. Perhaps you’re in a curious relationship with a suspected vampire. But, how can you tell?

Does he appear just when you need him? I mean just when you need him. Like you’re thinking about him. He’s there with ice cream in hand. Though he never seems to join you for that ice cream or any other food for that matter? You just might have a vampire.

Vampire are they hot or not?

Have you ever met his parents? He’s met yours (after sunset too, claimed dinner after work, yet that’s the first you’ve heard of a job, and yet again he did not eat.) Whenever you bring up the subject, he’ll get quiet, look wistful, and promptly change the subject.

When you look into his eyes do you get lost? I mean really, do you loose time around him? He’s either slipping you GHB or he’s got some nasty hypnosis powers. You could also be dating Criss Angel. Check the jewelry, watch for signs of street magic.

just creepy goths?

If all of these signs check out as positive, you are the focus of an undead, blood-sucking being of the night. If that floats your boat, you’ve hit the jackpot. Game over. You win.

Since this is all about keeping the nightcrawler of your dreams take this as a good sign. Get used to the weirdness, and hope it doesn’t necessarily take a turn for the worse. The undead can be the scary kind of stalkers.

So, that’s all for this week. Next time we’ll look into that eternal question: break up with him, or eternal life.

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